Thought I Would Have Been Somebody By Now

by Placeholder

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released October 16, 2012

Broken Rim Records, Kory Gable, Henry Gepfer



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Placeholder Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Mary
Today, I'd do anything to get back to you
Tonight, I could be sleeping in your car
Or anywhere, at any place. If that'd be okay.
I know I say these things and my mind is changed the next day

I swear, I've heard this before
But, I wonder how I got here
Gather my things, I know it's day to day
Am I okay?

I want to put a rope around my neck
I've always been one for the dramatics
To swing, to swing
Oh God, I want to sing but I hate it
I hate everything

Swing, swing, I wish you could swing
Rather you than me
Swing, swing, oh please oh please
We aren't half as dead as you
Track Name: Tired Of Me
All I know, time is running out
Mom and dad get older and I'm next in line
And for once, I wish it wasn't me
Knocking on your door to let me in
I know you'll never come back again

And I've been out for days
because he's been gone for weeks
Plugging answers to questions
Never including you
I'm tired of praying, tired of me too
I want to know, who's really missing who?

I spent the week, driving down the same streets
My father, just like me, grown restless with defeat
Does it hurt him now? But he won't make a sound
Cracks a smile and turns his truck back around

Could you have that feeling?
Do I even feel at all?
Are we only dreaming, waiting for a call?
But, I don't get the reasons, get nothing at all
Maybe it's the season, we only hit the wall
Track Name: Calculation
Since 17, I thought about you and me but, what did I receive?
The feeling, and fearing of growing older, weighing on my shoulders

Do you wake up at night?
Does the feeling of helplessness hold you tight?
Can we get back to sleep?
Thought of wasting, more terrifying in dreams

I had a wonderful plan, how did it get to this?
Calculated steps, achieve everything
All I need was someone or something
But, eventually oh, it'll mean nothing to me

Honestly, I don't believe in the comfort and safety of the same routine
And you turn off all your dreams
And I'd like to, and I want to, there's nothing more I'd rather do
Track Name: Bright Enough To Shine
On going and treason
Why did it ever bother me? Did it ever bother you?
And there's a light on in your room
Who you'll never pray to be, who I'll never get to see

And I cut the ropes that tie my arms and legs
And I ask why I'm not bright enough to shine
I'll fight it off for a little while
But, I'll eventually die

There's nothing else I need to say. What do I need to be?
There's nothing left for us to lose. What do you want to be?
There's nothing else I want to do, so won't you tell me?
There's no reason for me to yield, so won't you tell me?

Time and failure, one after another
and you can choose to continue
I know where you'll end up
Yes, I know where you'll end up